The Big Question of a Modern Man: Am I Who I Want to Be?

To be or not to be – the big Shakespearean question. Or rather: to be what I want to be or to be something else – the big question of a modern man.

The man who tries to be in tune with his time, follows the news and trends, is on a first name basis with the latest technologies, and knows what the world politics are up to.

The society, your friends, your family, your peers expect you to be many things: be rich, be fit, be awesome, be kind, be stylish but do not look stupid, be an expert in every field, have a cool job. But is it really what you want? How do those wishes and expectations fit into your worldview and lifestyle?

Let's see.

Dilemma #1 – Your Main Activity in Life

What your family wants: Your family wants you to become a lawyer (a CEO, a dentist) – just like your dad.

What you want: To become a pilot. Or an artist. Or a primary school teacher, or a lion tamer (which is basically the same). Or to travel the world – and then decide where to settle.

How to make it work: If you have always dreamt of being a famous lawyer, like your father, – go for it! But if the sole argument posed by your family is “you must because it's family business”, think twice and act wisely: you only live once, so no one will ultimately benefit from forcing you into something you genuinely dislike.

Dilemma #2 – Your Relationship

What your girlfriend wants: Your girlfriend wants to watch that new romantic sitcom together.

What you want: To watch Game of Thrones or try that new release of a video game you have been waiting for ages.

How to make it work: Watch her series today, but have an entire game night for yourself tomorrow: with headphones, unhealthy snacks, and a “Do not disturb” sign nailed to your chair.

Dilemma #3 – Your Friends

What your friends want: They want you to spend more time with them and less with your girlfriend. Possibly to go on a weekend snowboarding-slash-drinking trip.

What you want: You want to go on that trip but do not want to abandon your girlfriend.

How to make it work: Spending time with friends is important. The time will come when you all have families and, automatically, less time for each other. So, try finding time for your friends now. And to counterbalance that men-only weekend, take your girlfriend on a surprise romantic minibreak.

Dilemma #4 – Your Job

What your employer wants: Productivity, loyalty, a hundred brilliant ideas a day, no pay raise demands.

What you want: Promotion, flexible working hours, pay raise.

How to make it work: Your career ambitions is exactly what makes you progress, so do not say no to them. And if you have been stuck in one position for years, with no prospects in the foreseeable future, maybe it is not the right place for you.

Dilemma #5 – Your Business

What your employees want: They want you to be a good boss.

What you want: Productivity, loyalty, initiative, zero intrigues.

How to make it work: Remember: a boss does not equal a friend, and a manager does not equal a leader. Be a leader – not just a boss or manager. Be the man whom people are looking up to, whom they trust, respect and admire, whom they want to follow.

Dilemma #6 – Your Style and Image

What the fashion industry wants from you: It wants to make your choices instead of you.

What you want: To feel attractive and comfortable, without sacrificing one for the other. And, preferably, not to spend a small fortune on your wardrobe.

How to make it work: Compromise. While it is good to have options handed on a plate, you have your own head screwed on the right way. And you do not necessarily need a personal stylist to dress smart (although it is also not a bad idea). Ask your stylish friend where he got that jacket. Browse the looks on the Instagram or other sites, choose the ones you like, and ask the sales assistant in a menswear store to help you find something similar. Once you have figured out which clothes look good on you, you can stick to online shopping – to save time (and often money).


Instead of digressing into irrelevant philosophical ranting, let's just get right to the point: whenever you are doing what you like – and it does not hurt others or contradict the general moral principles (and Criminal Code) – you should be fine!

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